Harv is in love... and not with me.

Now, I have always been a pretty emotionally low-maintenance horse owner. In some ways, that’s one of my strengths because I don’t get too frustrated or too emotionally involved to see clearly, I’m quite professional – and therefore hopefully clear and consistent, with any horse I’m lucky enough to be involved with. I love all the horses I work with very warmly but they don’t replace any human relationship for me, as I’m sure I would never want to be a substitute for their horsey companionship. Don’t get me wrong, I love horses, and I love every horse I work with, and I love working with horses – and I’m sure that whole-lotta-love helps the situation particularly with horses who have previously been feared or hated. I’m saying all that so that you take me seriously when I tell you the gooey things I have been up to this week.

Well, a couple of weeks ago I headed out to the field to catch Harv. He normally comes a-trottin’ to the gate looking sparky and on this particular day he didn’t so I guess I didn’t get my usual ‘Lassie loves me’ kick. I squelched through the mud to find him, with the rest of the herd, dozing in the sun. Harv looked particularly happy, with his head resting on Dolly’s back, lip drooping, eyes half closed. Just Dozing.

What’s new? You may ask. What’s so special about a horse snoozing with his herd? Surely this should be normal?

And that is exactly the point. Because as I stood there, thoroughly happy in such peaceful equine surroundings, it occurred to me that I don’t think I have ever seen Harvey dozing before.

Sure, I have seen him relaxed, we have hacked about on a loose rein, explored the woods and peoples gardens, I muck out around him in the stable and he’s chilled coming in and out of the field.  I suppose I thought we were pretty much finished with relaxing Harvey, he was pretty much there. I had been thinking that the super-perky ears and slightly busy eye was just who he was, and always would be. But, watching him doing absolutely nothing with the horses in the field, I realised there was still a whole new level of relaxation, acceptance and trust that we were nowhere near reaching yet.

In one of her best ever mentoring moments, Kelly told me that it’s OK to notice if you’re jealous of something – because it shows you what you really want, so you can turn that negative emotion into positive action. Although it sounds wise, it never made such clear sense to me before that moment watching Harvey sleeping on Dolly’s back and thinking – “wouldn’t it be lovely if Harvey called fall asleep near me.”

So – the delight in having Harv as my own horse is that I am not paid by the hour, or by the result. I am under no pressure to achieve anything with him, and so, the making-Harvey-happy-project  serves two purposes in my life.

1) to make me happy

2) to try out new ideas

And it is under these two very worthwhile headings that I am able to justify the rather odd training I have been doing this week. Or rather not doing.

This week, has been all about doing NOTHING. Which is pretty hard for me, I’m pretty energetic, pretty chirpy and pretty busy in the brain. But, after ‘just’ (!) half an hour of NOT trying to touch Harvey, he let out the biggest sigh I have ever seen, stopped the occasionally cribbing and chewed hay at half the speed.  And, for just a few seconds, he did nothing at all and his ears went a bit floppy. I KNOW that last week I was working on lateral movements and checking the ground to see if we could go XC again, so ‘ears going a bit floppy’ doesn’t sound that progressive to you guys, but I’m telling you, I was thrilled.

My continual work on Harv being happy to be touched has also got a new dimension now.  Previously, working with a groundwork before grooming policy, pressure and release, tying up with a haynet, and fingers before brushes has all meant that kicking has disappeared entirely out of his repertoire and biting is down to 0.005% of what it used to be.  He stands perfectly still, and to an outsider might appear ‘cured’. But I know he doesn’t enjoy it. He has just learned that tolerance is the best behavioural option, but his little mouth wrinkles and he looks much happier when we go for a walk or ride.

So, I have tried to take my new, super relaxed Rosie energy with no agenda into the grooming. I have found moving slowly, softly and with very little effort or energy he actually starts to look like he is enjoying it. Before, I was desperately trying to find that scratchy spot on his withers and never really finding it, and now that I am getting the hang of how to make him comfortable around me, looking back I can see I was WAY too busy, too driven,  too focused. Harv is not a horse who looks especially stressed or nervous during grooming, but I’m getting to know him better and better and why settle for tolerating if you could work towards enjoying? Why settle for ‘complying’ when you could work towards ‘cooperating’?

So, to sum it up, this week I have been working on.... standing in the corner of the box and trying not to offend Harvey and my highlight has been .....floppy ears when he forgot I was there.

Something tells me Harvey is a better human trainer than I am a good horse trainer....

I wonder whether this really is an efficient use of time, and I suppose only time will tell – how much will Harvey change? Already we have a happy hacking companion who used to nap, a show-sour horse who has re-entered the ring behaving beautifully, a horse who would shut down at a trotting pole who seems to be getting a heart for cross country and an aggressive horse who is now easy to do. But all this progress is managed and supported – how good can he get? How happy can he ever be in human company? How much of his previous life can he let go of? And – will we ever jump the colossal Milk wagon fence we hack past at Brightling XC course? Floppy ears has to be a good rung on the ladder to his success – and if it isn’t it’s certainly a good rung on my ladder towards enlightenment, because I have been wandering around like a Buddha after half an hour of ‘not training’ Harvey – and I’d recommend you all give it a go – regardless of the results!!

those of you hoping for a demo report - its was a fantastic demo and the report is coming .. check back soon!!!
Rosie
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